Remember Your Why: How to Reconnect With Your True Purpose

Ever feel like the spark went quiet, even though the work kept going? We dive into the real difference between a steady, soul-level why and the many ways purpose changes shape across seasons, health, and circumstance. Through an honest personal story—from a career in healing and teaching, to sudden illness and identity loss, to an unexpected return through words—you’ll hear how remembering does not mean inventing something new. It means coming home to what has always been true.

We unpack the language that often traps us: purpose as title, productivity as worth, outcomes as validation. Then we flip the script with practical tools for alignment that feel human, not performative. You’ll hear how a shy, introverted creator built an audio-only podcast with a budget mic and free software, launched on a difficult anniversary to rewrite a painful story, and learned to keep emotion in the final cut. Along the way we share gentle prompts to locate your why: what breaks your heart open, when you feel most like yourself, and who you were before the world asked you to be someone else.

If survival mode has muted your dreams, this conversation offers relief and a path back: your why is constant; your purpose is flexible. Trade perfection for presence, metrics for meaning, and pressure for small, repeatable steps that honor your values. We close with listener-friendly resources, a guided meditation, and journaling prompts to help you integrate what resonates. Subscribe, share with someone who needs this reminder, and leave a review to tell us: where is your why asking you to go next?

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Transcript

Welcome And Season Intention

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back, Kindred Spirits. I'm really glad you're here with me today. This season of healing our kindred spirits feels like an invitation to slow down, to listen more deeply to ourselves, to our stories, and to the quiet moments that shape who we are becoming. This podcast is a sacred space for healing, reflection, and connection, where stories are honored and you are welcome wherever you are on your journey. My hope is that as you listen, you feel inspired to bring what resonates into your own life, maybe inviting more joy, maybe a little bit of light, and hopefully some meaning along the way. So let's get started. Hello and welcome. Sometimes I get ideas for episodes based on something that I've seen or read or heard. And today's topic of remembering your why, W H Y happened because of this tiny little decal that I saw online that said remember your why. Simple but impactful. It stuck with me. But I just ignored it. Holidays were busy, had a lot going on. But when I ignored it, it kept coming up on other pages on other sites and shown to me in other ways. Um, like maybe perhaps as an example of a tattoo similar along those lines. And those who know me know that science from the universe is something that I pay attention to. So I started doing some research, and it was confusing at first because I associated remembering your why with finding your purpose. And that is not true. Well, not at least not in the way that we think it is. So today we're going to explore a little bit about the difference about remembering your why versus your purpose, and we'll talk about how they work together and they work separately, and we'll talk about how you can remember your why again. Because there are moments in life when we don't lose hope, but we do lose clarity, and when the days feel heavier than the dreams that we once carried, when survival quietly replaces inspiration, and sometimes without even realizing it, we forget our why. Not because we don't care anymore, not because we failed, but because life has asked so much of us. So today we're going to talk of not about finding your why, but about remembering it. You may be asking, well, how can I find my why? Throughout the podcast, you will you will figure out how to how to find your why. Because your why is not something you invent, it's something that you return to. So what's the difference between remembering your why and finding your purpose? Your why is the heartbeat. It's the reason you care, the thing that moves you, the story underneath your choices. Your why is emotional, personal, and often rooted in your lived experiences. To remember your why, it sounds like I do this because I don't want anyone to feel as unseen as I once was. I keep showing up because connection matters to me. I create because healing through storytelling is how I make sense of life. Those are some examples of what your why could sound like. Your why doesn't need a job, a title, or a platform. You carry it with you, even when you're tired, even when life gets messy. And sometimes you don't lose it, you just forget it under grief, burnout, disappointment, or even many times in my case, doubt. That's why we talk about remembering your why. It's not about discovering something new, it's about coming back home to what was always true about you. And your purpose, on the other hand, is the path. It's how your why takes shape in the world. Purpose is expressed through roles, seasons, forms. Maybe you're a teacher, a healer, a storyteller, an advocate, a parent, creator, listener, guide, coach. But here's the thing that people don't say enough. Your purpose can change without your why ever changing. Let me say that again. Your purpose can change without your why ever changing. You might express your why through one career, one relationship, one project, and then life shifts. You have health changes, loss happens, a door closes, and a new season begins. Your purpose is constantly evolving because your life evolves. Before I share anything else today, I want to speak from the most honest place I know, my own life. Because when I talk about remembering your why, I'm not speaking in theory. I'm speaking from experience, from loss, from reinvention, from the moments when I thought I had lost the very thing that made me who I am. And I've touched on this in many other episodes, but if you're just joining this episode, just indulge me. Or if you've heard it, just indulge me. And maybe as you listen, you'll hear a little of your own story as well. For many years, I was a nationally board-certified licensed massage therapist, massage therapy instructor at a technical college. And I also had my own private holistic healing practice. I've done many other things, but those are the things that really defined my why. My teaching job gave me financial stability, but my private healing practice that gave me emotional and spiritual fulfillment. That was never meant to be a job for me. It was never about making money. It was about putting my passion into action. Much how this podcast is, I will never and have never had any inclination to monetize this podcast. This podcast is my why. The passion that I feel is my why. This podcast is my purpose. So in 2017, when I became very ill and had to leave my teaching position, I had to step away from anything connected to my private practice. It broke me, broke me in ways that I wasn't prepared for. Even though I had given up my office space years earlier because I was so busy teaching, I still saw people occasionally who truly needed my help. I never advertised for what I did. People found me through word of mouth or through connections. And when I lost the ability to help people the way I always had, I was crushed. I had wrapped my entire identity around being of service. And when I could no longer do that, I felt defeated. I felt sad. I felt depressed. And honestly, I was very angry. Because I didn't ask for these health challenges, but medical decisions were made by a professional who chose wrong. And I paid the price for that. And I'm still paying with that, for that with my health and well-being. I went through many years of mental health therapy starting in late 2017 by my own religion because I could feel myself being pulled down into a dark place. And that scared me. Being of service to others and helping people was my why. Teaching was my purpose. And even though I still had the passion, I couldn't have a purpose. Not being able to live my purpose with my passion, what I now understand as my why, was devastating. Over and over again, my therapist would gently tell me even though I could no longer do what I used to do, but do it in the same way, that I owed it to myself to find a way to still live with what I was passionate about. And I had to do it in a way, and I could do it in a way that didn't hurt my body or cause me more physical pain. But I resisted. And it's a hurt that never eases. At least for me, it didn't. As someone who is very empathic, often emotionally porous, I feel the pain deeply of people, places, and experiences. I had just been coasting through life. I was an automatic pilot. Especially as the chronic health issues and chronic pain increased, it was hard to get through the day. When I was diagnosed with cancer at the height of the pandemic in 2020, I promised myself that if I survived, I would find my passion again and make better choices. And honestly, how many times have we made that promise and we don't follow through? Well, I it wasn't until the middle of 2023, almost three years afterwards, when I felt so sad and so lost at something changed. Every night when I go to bed, I pray and I always ask for guidance and for any messages or information that I need to know to let it come through for my high, to come through clear for my highest and greatest good. This is something that I have been doing for years, and I still do it every night. In that particular dream that night, I was told I could still help others through my words. And that's it. Through my words, that's all I got in my dream. I've been writing my entire life since I was about seven years old. I would write poetry and stories and short stories, and you just give me a topic and I could write about it within minutes. Writing and reading has always been my salvation. Creativity, language, expression, words have saved me, saved me more times than I can count. So when you hear me choose certain words on this podcast, they're not AI generated. It's simply who I've always been. It's from years of reading the thesaurus many times. And yes, I do often talk like this in conversations. And as a teenager, I practically lived in the thesaurus because language became my home. So in that dream, I was shown that I would be helping people with my words, but I didn't know what that meant. A few nights later, again asking before I went to sleep, that night it became a little clearer. It was in the form of a podcast. Now, when I wake up in the morning and I've had a very busy night of dreams, and some people don't remember their dreams, but I am fortunate enough that I do. I journal them in the morning so I don't forget. First thing I do is I journal them in the morning. Now, anyone who knows, knows me personally knows this about me. I'm painfully shy. Painfully shy. I prefer the background, not the spotlight. I am an introvert, and there was absolutely no way I was going to be on video, especially talking about talking about anything and putting myself out there like that. It was just not going to happen. Not going to happen. So I dug my heels in and I resisted. And we all know that what we resist persists. I started waking up and journaling about my dreams again, and slowly, slowly over time, I could see this picture forming. Still, I tried to ignore it. And the more again, the more you resist, the more persisted. I finally decided to research how to start a podcast. And instantly I was overwhelmed. There was a lot of information out there. When I have too many choices, I don't know if this is how you up, but with me, when I have too many choices, I get extremely overwhelmed and I shut down. And there was a lot of information out there. And I did exactly that. I shut down. Between YouTube, Pinterest, Google, everywhere I looked, there was so much information that I became completely overwhelmed. I closed my laptop and said, I can't do this right now. Self-preservation, I can't do this right now. And again, the more I resisted, the more it persisted. Then something happened in December of 2023 that I will never forget. A former client who had become a dear friend had started his own podcast and asked if I would be a guest. My first instinct with all the bells going off in my head was to say no. Not for any reason aside from the fact I didn't find my life that interesting. I didn't know how to be a guest. I don't like talking about myself. But when I wanted to say no, yes came out. I said yes. And then I immediately regretted it. Only because of fear. Only because of fear. But I didn't regret it for long. It was like there were two parts of me. Every fearful fiber wanted to back out. But something deeper knew I needed to step forward. Hence the dreams, the messages, the the instinct, the intuition. That can that was bubbling to the surface more. And that was actually drowning out the fear. So we recorded on Zoom, and we made the uh the time to get together. He was he was in one part of a state, and I was in the other. And we recorded on Zoom. I had no equipment, just my iPhone microphone. And when he assured me it would be audio only, I finally felt safe to breathe. When that recording ended, I felt something I hadn't felt since 2017. Hope. I felt invigorated and recharged. I'm feeling unstoppable. Like I could do anything. Wow, what a feeling. Now I know that the reason why, because for the first time in years, I remembered my why. I must have done something right with that podcast because I was invited back a few times after that. And I was much more comfortable. And his podcast is listed on my website. So take a look if you're interested. The name of his podcast is The United States of PTSD. And he's on every streaming platform. So in January of 2024, I started researching again. This time with a little bit more ambition behind me because I realized I could create an audio-only podcast, no video, no spotlight. That was it. I was committed. Long as I didn't have to go on video, I was good. It took most of 2024 to truly get myself there. I journaled, I talked about it, I talked about it in therapy. I had to work through the fear, the doubt, the insecurities, the lack of self-confidence that I that I was lacking, I was definitely lacking in self-confidence. But I had to work through that and getting, and I had to get out of my own way. All that, all the what ifs came to my mind. What if people laughed at me? What if people judged me? What if, what if, what if? Because a few times in the past, when I put myself out there, I was deeply hurt in many ways. And when you have a kind heart and are always giving, unfortunately, there are people out there who will try to really extinguish that light within you. And you must never let them do that. Never. Money was tight, but I knew I needed just a few things. I researched microphones and finally bought one for under$60 on Amazon using a gift card that I had gotten from my birthday. And now I'm someone who tends to overthink everything. Hello, analysis paralysis. Does that sound familiar? Maybe you're like that too. I overthink everything. I even have a little magnet on my refrigerator that says, hold on, let me overthink it. And I actually bought one for a friend of mine as well. When I bought the microphone, I found a free editing program. I already had good noise canceling headphones. That was it. That's all I needed. All of these videos that I watched that said I needed this equipment, that equipment. I was just, okay, let's just start with this. And I knew the biggest piece of equipment that I needed, that I already had, was my voice. So I wrote my first episode and I rewrote it and I rewrote it again. And eventually I had to accept something. It would never feel perfect. Because perfection is an illusion. But I also knew I had to start somewhere. So I sat with my journal again and wrote down every reason why I needed to do this podcast. And every single one of those reasons led back to the same place. My passion to help others, to be of service. That is my why. If that meant through writing or through my voice, then I owed it to myself to try. If I failed, that would be okay. At least I would have known I tried. My goal was never numbers, followers, or metrics. My goal was simple. If I could reach even one person and help them in one small way, this entire journey would be worth it. Because helping others is like breathing to me. It's not something I plan, it's who I am. So there I was with my microphone, my noise canceling headphones, and a free editing program that felt very overwhelming at first. But with the help of YouTube and other resources, I learned what I needed to create something that sounded decent and I still use it to this day. It was trial and error, trial and error, trial and error. When I finally chose my release date, everything aligned. On December 5th, 2024, my 61st birthday, I launched my first episode. That day mattered to me. It mattered because it was a gift to myself, but it was also my way of rewriting a story that had held so much pain for so many years. It was about changing the narrative of how I felt about that day. Because my birthday was always about sadness, loss, grief, transition. And I've talked about this post briefly talked about it on other episodes when I needed to. My mom passed away on my 40th birthday. And when my husband, my first husband and I were newly married, there was a fire in our apartment on my birthday. And we lost everything. We had no insurance. We had to start over. We were only married not even seven months, I believe, six, seven months. And my dear kitty perished in the fire. And we were homeless. And we had to live with our families until we could start over. And that took several months. To this day, to this day, being homeless is one of my deepest fears. On that same day, I learned that I was pregnant. I had gone to the lab that morning before I went to work, and I found out that afternoon. So amidst the chaos and loss of the fire, of loss of everything in our apartment, there was some hope, or so I thought. So I chose to change the narrative of December 5th. I chose to make it something sacred, something healing. And I had the power to do that. And the rest is history. I don't claim to be perfect at what I do. I don't claim to have all the answers. What I do claim is this. I will always create and deliver from a place of authenticity. That is my why. When I take my why and marry it with purpose, which is my passion, it's unstoppable. While I always feel this way, I know I will, but I think how I choose to live my why will evolve over time. I have a few things I plan to do this year, aside from the podcast, but it's all part of my why. As long as there are people willing to listen, I will keep showing up. I will keep sharing. I will keep serving in any way that I am able to. And for that, I am so deeply grateful. So deeply grateful. So when people say I don't know my purpose anymore, what they often mean is the way I used to live my life, my why no longer fits who I am now. And that can feel disorienting, even painful. So how is finding your why and living your purpose different? Your why is internal. It's the emotional truth of who you are. Your purpose is external. It's how that truth is lived, expressed, and even offered. Your why is constant. It may deepen, but it doesn't disappear. Your purpose is fluid, it shifts with seasons, health, growth, circumstance. You remember your why. You shape and reshape your purpose. And how are they the same? They they are both about meaning. They are both answer, they both answer the question. Why does my life matter and the way I'm living it? Your purpose without your why becomes hollow. It's just tasks and titles and expectations. But your why without living a purpose can feel trapped inside of you, waiting for a place to breathe, just like mine did after I had to give up everything that defined me in 2017. My why was still there, but I no longer had a purpose. Don't let that happen to you. Because you know what? They are meant to work together. Your why is the soul, your purpose is the expression. And here's the gentle truth. If you're in a season where you feel lost, uncertain, like you've outgrown the version of your life you once knew, and we've all been there. It doesn't mean you've failed your purpose. It usually means your soul is asking for a new way to live your why. And that isn't a breakdown, that's a becoming. You're not meant to stay the same. None of us are. What we start out as is not always how we end. But what makes you you is your compassion, your need for meaning, your desire to help others feel seen and less alone. That always remains. You're not starting over, you're remembering who you've always been and choosing a new way to honor it. So often we hear the phrase, remember your why in ways that feel pressured. Like if we just think harder, work harder, or rebrand our lives, everything will suddenly make sense. I know I have put that unnecessary pressure on myself at times. And to be honest, I still do. But your why is not your job title. It's not productivity, it's not what you should want. Your why is the emotional truth behind what matters to you. It's the part of you that knows what feels meaningful, the part that softens when someone else is hurting. It's the part that lights up when you feel connected or useful, present, or of service. It's what motivates you to rise for another day and just face a day head on, knowing that you will always be the best version of yourself. One of the reasons why I didn't think I could do a podcast is because I am a very empathic, sensitive soul. And I worried about talking about certain topics and becoming emotional or showing that emotion. And I, if I was to do this podcast, I had to do it with the authenticity of not editing out my emotions, even if it meant that I got choked up or I struggled with tears a little bit. I had to be okay with it. I had to reconcile that and know that even though I was taking a chance of being laughed at or being made fun of online, which is a vast universe, there was no other way to do it but to be more my authentic self. Because that was my why. My sensitivity and my empathy is all wrapped up in my why. Because your why is shaped by your lived experiences, your grief, your growth, what you've endured, what you've lost, and what you've learned. Because it's intimate, it's personal, and it's uniquely yours. So why do we forget our why? Here's something I want to say gently and clearly: most of us don't abandon our why. We get tired, we move into survival mode. And in survival mode, we don't dream because we endure. We have to just plug ahead, keep moving ahead. No matter what's going on, we have something to finish, we have something we need to get done. It's part of life. We have responsibilities. Does that sound familiar to you? Have you ever done that? But life has a way of pulling us into responsibilities and health challenges, grief, even transitions and expectations we never asked for. For me, it was chronic illness. Some people it's caregiving, loss, grief, disappointment, feeling unseen, feeling like what you give doesn't seem to matter. And slowly, quietly, we begin to operate from getting through instead of living from the heart. Sometimes we don't even notice it happening. We just wake up one day and think, I know I'm doing things, but I don't feel connected to myself anymore. I can imagine many of you nodding in agreement with this because I still do it. I still do it from time to time. Because I doubt myself. I think we all do. And that can feel scary or confusing or lonely. But I want you to hear this. Forgetting your why does not mean you've lost it. It just means you've been carrying a lot. We often talk about finding our why as if it's missing somewhere outside of us. But I don't believe your why disappears, not for a minute. I believe it waits quietly, patiently, without judgment. Our why lives in the moments that move us. It's in the pain that taught you compassion and the people you instinctively want to protect. It's in the stories that stay with you long after the moment has passed. Your why is not something you chase, it's something you come home to. For me, there have been seasons when I questioned everything, and I still do. Moments when my health experiences or even the way life unfolded made me wonder if what I was doing still mattered, if I still mattered. And in those moments when I first started podcasting, it was tempting to measure everything by outcomes, by numbers, by visibility, by likes, by shares, by subscribers, by whether anyone was listening. But when I stopped asking, is this working? and started asking, does this still feel true to who I am? Something inside of me softened. I remembered that my why was never about recognition, it was about connection, about holding space and about reminding people they are not alone and what they're carrying. And when I returned to that, I felt like myself again. Not louder, not bigger, just truer. So if you're in a season where you're disconnected from your why, I want to offer you a quiet moment right here. You don't need to fix anything. You don't need to decide anything today. Just listen inward. And you might gently ask yourself, and maybe journal these as well. What breaks your heart open when you see it in others? What kind of pain do you instinctively want to soothe? When have you felt more like yourself? And most important one, who were you before the world told you who to be? No pressure, no fixing, just remembering. So if you're listening today and thinking, I don't know what my why is anymore, I want you to hear this with tenderness. You are not behind. You are not broken, you are not failing. You may simply be tired. You may be grieving or changing. And sometimes remembering your why doesn't come out as clear, but sometimes it comes as a feeling, a quiet knowing, a soft ache toward what matters, a long to make something gentler in the world. That is not nothing. That is the beginning. Your why doesn't disappear because life got hard. It doesn't judge you for needing rest. It doesn't demand perfection. Because many times we are dealing with life, and that's hard for many of us. Between burnout and emotional exhaustion, chronic illness, physical limitations, grief, loss, life transitions. We get discouraged when things don't work out. We feel unseen, unsupported, or even misunderstood. You're not framing forgetting as failure. You're naming it as a human experience. And you know what? We are all kindred spirits having this same human experience. Sometimes we don't abandon NLI, we just get tired and we go into survival mode. And in survival mode, we don't dream, we endure, but it waits for you. It waits for you until you are ready to remember. And when you do, it doesn't always lead you back to what you were doing before. Sometimes it leads you forward into a new expression of who you are becoming. But it will always feel like truth and authenticity. It'll feel like alignment, like a longing inside your own life. Because your why is woven into the moments that moved you, the people you longed to protect, the pain that taught you compassion, and the hope you never quite let go of. Before we say goodbye, I just want to gently remind you that you don't have to walk this journey alone. And it is my hope that something you heard in our episode today, or any of the episodes you've listened to resonated with you. And it may be something that you can take with you to use in your life or on your own healing journey. And if something in today's episode spoke to you, you're always welcome to connect with me beyond the podcast. You can find more reflections, resources, and moments of comfort on our website, on social media, and on YouTube. And all of those links are waiting for you in the episode description. If you ever felt called to share your story, ask a question, or simply reach out, please do. You can email me anytime at healing our kindred spirits at gmail.com. If you're interested, I have cared this episode with an original guided meditation, and you can find it right after this episode on any streaming platform. And along with a guided meditation, I put some journal prompts at the end of the meditation episode descriptions. Should you be guided to journal? And as a reminder, my fellow kindred spirits, you are never too much, and you are always, always enough. Thank you.