Healing Our Kindred Spirits
Healing Our Kindred Spirits, a transformative journey of connection, healing, and personal growth. Together, we explore the depths and complexities of the human experience, while embracing the power of vulnerability as a catalyst for change. From navigating grief to celebrating the beauty of being human, we unravel the intricacies of our hearts and souls. Through authentic conversations and heartfelt reflections, we find empowerment, inspiration, and enlightenment in every exchange. Join our compassionate community, where every voice is heard, every journey is honored, and every step toward healing is celebrated. Let’s embark on this voyage of growth, healing, and profound connection. Together, we can Heal our Kindred Spirits.
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Healing Our Kindred Spirits
Navigating Stress and Cultivating Calm: Empowering Your Journey to Inner Peace
This episode emphasizes the significance of managing stress effectively and introduces actionable steps to cultivate calmness amidst life's challenges. Through personal experiences and research, listeners learn about the effects of stress on the body, mind, and spirit, as well as practical techniques to restore balance and resilience.
• Defining stress and its natural response in the body
• Chronic stress as a public health epidemic
• Personal story illustrating the impact of unmanaged stress
• Physical effects of stress on various health aspects
• Mental implications of long-term stress, including anxiety and depression
• Spiritual disconnect caused by overwhelming stress
• Practical strategies for managing stress and cultivating calm
• Techniques such as mindful breathing and progressive muscle relaxation
• The benefits of gratitude journaling and nature walks
• Importance of building supportive relationships and social connections
• Utilizing affirmations to enhance emotional resilience and mental health
• Encouragement for listeners to actively engage in their mental health journey.
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Welcome to Healing Our Kindred Spirits, where we explore life's shared experiences and uncover practical ways to live more meaningfully. I'm your host, donna Gaudet. Today we're diving into a topic that touches all of us cultivating calm and managing stress. We'll talk about how stress affects the body, mind and spirit and give you actionable, real-life steps to help you manage stress and even anxiety in your life. Whether it's the constant buzz of emails, the demands of work or the ever-present noise of the world, stress is something we all face. But here's the good news there are simple, actionable steps we can take to calm the storm within and invite peace into our lives, and along with it comes the calm and relax that your body, mind and spirit needs. So grab a cup of tea, take a deep breath and let's explore this together.
Speaker 1:Let's start by understanding stress. We all know that stress is a natural response. It's your body's way of protecting you. It kicks in when you're under pressure or feeling threatened, but chronic stress can wear us down, affecting our physical health, emotional well-being and even our relationships. Chronic stress has become a public health epidemic, and it's clear that we need tools to manage it effectively. A public health epidemic, and it's clear that we need tools to manage it effectively. Stress, in a nutshell, is your body's natural response to perceived threat. It activates your fight or flight system, releasing hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. While this response is helpful for in short bursts, chronic stress can wreak havoc on your body and mind, and today we're going to unpack how stress impacts the body, mind and spirit and share some strategies to help you cultivate calm in your busy life. So let's get started.
Speaker 1:I want to share a personal experience with stress that I had and how it changed my life. We all have stress at some point in our lives and we know, over time, stress can diminish your quality of life as well as cause many, many health problems. The experience I want to share happened to me in 2010. I was working full time for a major pharmacy retailer as an associate analyst. At the same time, we were caring for my dad, who lived with us, who was also living with terminal cancer. It wasn't my dad who was causing the stress, but everything around me that added to being able to care for my dad effectively. I was still working full-time, and my job was very demanding and also very stressful. I started experiencing bouts of insomnia, panic attacks, anxiety, and all of that manifested into increased blood pressure, which we know as hypertension, and I also had severe migraine headaches, insomnia everything that went along with that. My primary care physician, concerned over the uncontrollable stress that I was going through in the elevated blood pressure, was worried and he recommended that I take a medical leave of absence. Many times, many visits to him, and he kept pushing to take a medical leave because he knew what I was dealing with in my life. Not only was my job stressful, but a new manager had come on board and she was very difficult to deal with.
Speaker 1:I did not at that time have a good understanding of how FMLA worked or my rights about taking a medical leave or much about anything. I just worked. We weren't really allowed to connect with HR because they referred you back to your supervisor and, unfortunately, if your supervisor is part of the problem, you're just running in circles. So I felt very, very defeated. My workload was increasing, as well as my stress and my responsibilities. There was only my husband and I, with the help of a visiting palliative care team and some family that helped out to take care of my dad. One day I went down to the on-site urgent care and my blood pressure was just so high and the anxiety was right up there as well. She knew the stress I was under because I briefly explained to her what was going on. Because she did ask me. She insisted I needed to go home or she needed to call 911. I gave the note to my manager, who reluctantly accepted it, and I went home.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, I was not able to find a way to effectively manage the stressors in my life. I was not really good with that. I thought I had to do it all. Like most of you, I had to work, take care of my family, manage my dad's gear, take care of finances. This went on for several more weeks.
Speaker 1:I was sent home a number of times due to the effects of hypertension, anxiety and stress. I would get so overwhelmed at work and so worried about not being home with my dad that I would just shut down and go sit in the stairwell. I would just cry because I was so defeated and overwhelmed and I felt that I had no one that could help me. And it still remains one of the most isolating feelings in the world when you're just crying out for help and there isn't anyone there that you can hold on to. You just crying out for help and there isn't anyone there that you can hold on to. Finally, I listened to my doctor and agreed to take a medical leave.
Speaker 1:When I did the paperwork and gave it to my manager, she tossed it aside and said well, that's not going to happen and insisted that I do a reduced schedule. She made me feel that I would lose my job, and no one wants that feeling. No one wants to lose their income, their way of means of paying their bills and their finances. I know better now, but back then I didn't know that this was a form of bullying and that I did have job protection. I continued to try and work 50 hours into 30 hours a week. That was my reduced schedule because I was salary, my rate of pay was the same, but I needed to fit 50 hours of work into 30. And I don't know about you, but that would cause more stress and it did for me.
Speaker 1:One particular day I was in my cubicle working through lunch, like I always did, and the manager came by, like she always did, and told me we had to go to a meeting, we needed to do this, we need to do that. She liked to micromanage. My work was always done. But she needed to assert herself and micromanage. And again, I've done this job for 12 years, so I kind of knew what I was doing. I tried to get out of it by explaining I had things to finish before I left for the day and she, in no uncertain terms, told me I needed to get my butt to that meeting. She used a different word, but I needed to get to that meeting. I was not needed, she just needed to assert herself.
Speaker 1:When we returned from the meeting, I was in my cubicle. I looked at the time and I looked at the pile of work I still had to get done before I left for my quote reduced schedule, unquote and I heard this voice that said it's time. I know it came to me, not from an external source. I ignored it. And then I heard it again a little bit louder. I ignored it again.
Speaker 1:It was then that something felt like it snapped inside of me, everything around me. The sound seemed so far away. I was getting dizzy, I was getting lightheaded, I started having chest pains and I couldn't breathe. I was hyperventilating and I felt like I was going to pass out. I started sobbing so hard, but quietly at the same time because I was a very private person. At the same time, because I was a very private person, I didn't want anyone to see what I was going through. I remember my whole body shaking. I felt as if I were outside my body watching everything go on around me. Someone must have heard me and went and got the manager, because she came by and then called down to urgent care. The urgent care nurse who came up. She was unable to get a reading of my blood pressure and had them call 911. She knew what I had been dealing with. I remember the EMTs getting there and feeling so out of my body. Apparently they could not get an accurate reading as well, and I was transported to the hospital.
Speaker 1:Now I was, and I still am, a private person in many ways, and when I worked I kept to myself I was sociable and friendly, but I a private person in many ways. And when I worked I kept to myself I was sociable and friendly, but I didn't have friends at work. I had work associates, work friends, but nobody that I associated with outside of work. So to me this was so humiliating for others to see me so vulnerable. I remember being wheeled out on a stretcher and seeing the bright overhead lights. As I was loaded onto the elevator, I felt every bump. I just felt more aware of my surroundings than I ever have in my life.
Speaker 1:I remember hearing the same voice I intuitively heard earlier telling me you are not coming back to this job, you are safe. You are not coming back to this job, you are safe. And for some reason I knew that was to be job. You are safe. You are not coming back to this job, you are safe. And for some reason I knew that was to be true. At the hospital they said my husband had been called and was on his way and I remember tests and equipment beeping and being hooked to monitors. They gave me meds to the IV and slowly my blood pressure came down and the shaking stopped.
Speaker 1:This was my first but not last experience with a full-blown panic attack and if you've had panic attacks you know how debilitating they could be, and there's extremes. There's some that are not as bad and some that are really bad. This one was really bad After the doctor explained to me that stress could and would kill me. If I didn't find a way to manage, reduce or eliminate the major stresses in my life, I would or could have a heart attack or stroke within a few months. That scared me because up until then I was an automatic pilot taking care of everything and everyone else automatically going through my day. It wasn't just this episode that caused that conclusion, but months and months of unmanaged stress and hypertension.
Speaker 1:I won't go into too many details, but when I got home got home that later that day in the evening I was set free on taking a medical leave, even if it meant that I would lose my job that I had for 12 years. I held on and soldiered on like a dutiful employee, afraid to lose my very good paying job. How would I contribute to our finances if I didn't work? My husband had a decent paying job, but we were a two income household, just like many, many today. But what would happen to us? What would happen to our home? What would happen to us?
Speaker 1:My dad saw the hospital bracelet, even though I tried to hide it. He asked me what happened, and I could never lie to my dad. I basically told him that I wasn't feeling well and that I was going to be taking a medical leave and I would be home with him. He said to me and this is something that I will never forget. He said to me, quote I know that job caused this to happen to you. Please promise me you won't go back to that kind of stress, unquote. And unbeknownst to me how much gravity that promise held, I automatically answered him and said to him that I would not be returning to that position, not realizing how much that promise would change my life. Sadly, three days later, my dad passed.
Speaker 2:To say I was at the edge of despair and stress multiplied is an understatement. After going through the motions of the funeral and after everybody went back to their homes and life was trying to get to normal.
Speaker 1:I got up one day and I was getting ready for work and my husband said to me what are you doing?
Speaker 2:I said I have to get back to work. I have to go to work. I'm going to get in trouble if I don't go. I only have so many days off. I have to get to work. And he held me and he hugged me and he said you can't go back. You can't go back right now. You can't go back. You have to take care of yourself.
Speaker 1:It was then and there that I knew that I was in the middle of a mental health crisis where I completely collapsed from stress and exhaustion over the last several months that I was holding on to, I knew I had to take care of myself something that I had not prioritized in many, many years.
Speaker 1:I did go out on a medical leave and I knew I needed to work hard to get healthy. I saw a mental health therapist twice a week and took the blood pressure medication I was prescribed for my hypertension and the medication for the severe anxiety. I sought the help I needed to be whole again. But I did it in my own terms, never compromising my beliefs for healing my own body, mind and spirit. And a few years before that I had learned many things holistically and spiritually, and over time they kind of got brought to the wayside because life had gotten away and I wasn't practicing practicing them as much as I should have or could have. But I knew that if I was to reintroduce those things back into my life, I could heal my life. And that included stress reduction techniques, meditation, therapy, eating better, sleeping better, taking care of myself, journaling all of that needed to happen in order for me to heal, and after four months I was feeling better.
Speaker 1:But did I want to go back to the situation that caused me to get this way? My PCP said he would release me to return to work under one condition that I would not return to the environment in the job that put me in that position in the first place. Nothing had changed there, no matter how many phone calls I made asking to be reassigned to a different position, willing to interview for other positions that I was more than qualified for, but I was met with the same defiance and resistance. So I would be going back to the same chaos and stress and people that I worked with that caused me to have this problem. That contributed to it. I was at a crossroads. I searched within and looked back at my journal and saw over time how I made progress to get healthy, both physically and mentally. How I made progress to get healthy both physically and mentally. I had to make the hard choice to not go back to that job, knowing that our financial situation would take a big hit until I found another job. My husband has always been a big support for me and still is, and he agreed with my doctor I could not go back to something that caused me so much pain, both physically and mentally. Numerous conversations with my employer left me frustrated, even after asking about applying for other positions. It was just as if they wanted to punish me and they tried to break me, and I didn't go back. I didn't cave in.
Speaker 1:Life was tough and we went through some pretty rough times, but I know if I had ignored my intuition, I would not be here today. That I know. Without a doubt, over the years, we have had many stressful events in our life, from me getting very ill in 2017 and having to give up working at a career that I love, to being diagnosed with cancer in 2020, at the height of the pandemic. To being diagnosed with cancer in 2020 at the height of the pandemic, and even to my husband having a devastating work accident in 2021 that left him unable to work at a job and career that he loved as well. I have had, through default, to learn how to manage stress and not let stress manage me. If I had not learned how to take care of my body, mind and spirit, I know I would not be here today.
Speaker 1:Sadly, the effects of so much stress in my life and body over several years has had a lasting impact and effect on me. Physically, I live with chronic pain and chronic health conditions that, in many days, can be debilitating. But there's always hope, always, always hope that you can make things better. So let's explore what stress does to your body, mind and spirit. So how does stress affect our body.
Speaker 1:Stress increases the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure and many health conditions, and the American Heart Association reports that chronic stress can also lead to inflammation, which is a contributing factor in many diseases. Stress just doesn't make you feel tense, it physically changes how your body functions. Chronic stress causes high levels of cortisol, which can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease and even heart attacks. The stress from my husband's life-changing accident attributed to two major heart attacks within two years of each other. His heart has so much damage, not just from the accident but from the stress that comes that came after it. And stress can also weaken our immune system. Over time, stress can suppress your immune system, making you more vulnerable to illnesses like colds, infections, even chronic diseases, and studies show that individuals under prolonged stress take longer to recover from illness or injuries. And let's not forget the digestive problems it can lead to GI issues like irritable ulcers and digestion. It disrupts the balance of the gut bacteria, which again affects our overall health. And the big thing is chronic pain and inflammation. Stress contributes to chronic inflammation, which is linked, of course, to arthritis, diabetes, autoimmune conditions and, sadly, I know the stress that I have endured throughout many years of my life attributed to my chronic health issues that I have today, but I had to learn a way to manage it before it managed me. And then, of course, we have stress. Stress that can disrupt our sleep can lead to insomnia, restless sleep, creating a cycle where poor sleep exacerbates stress, leading to exhaustion and burnout. So that was the body.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about how it affects the mind. When stress becomes long-term, it can significantly alter how your brain functions Memory and concentration. Chronic stress reduces the size of the hippocampus, which is the brain region responsible for memory and learning. This is why people under prolonged stress often experience forgetfulness, or what we call brain fog. I signed up for that one, both my husband and I. What we call brain fog I signed up for that one, both my husband and I. We have days, wet Brain fog is just there and you need the foghorn to get through.
Speaker 1:And of course, we have anxiety and depression. Long-term stress keeps your brain in hyper alert state and it increases the risk of developing anxiety disorders. It depletes the levels of serotonin and dopamine, which are neurotransmitters that regulate mood, and that can lead to depression. And not only that, it can impair our decision making. Stress impairs the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for rational thinking and decision making. This can lead to impulsive or poor choices, and then, of course, we have burnout. This can lead to impulsive or poor choices, and then, of course, we have burnout. Prolonged stress can lead to emotional exhaustion and our diminished sense of accomplishment, a condition known as burnout and that affects productivity, creativity and even relationships. And let's not forget cognitive decline, chronic stress and bias memory and decision making by shrinking the hippocampus, which we know is a critical brain region. So that was the mind.
Speaker 1:How does stress affect the spirit? Chronic stress just doesn't weigh in the body and mind. It disconnects us from our sense of purpose, which is meaning and joy. And when we have a loss of connection, when overwhelmed people often withdraw from relationships, it can create a sense of isolation and loneliness. During the pandemic, more people reported feeling stressed, depressed and overwhelmed, not by what was going on around them and externally, but their loss of connection to people they missed and not being able to enjoy the things they once were able to do. This can erode your support system, which are critical for emotional resilience, and then we have spiritual disconnection. Many people report feeling emotionally drained and disconnected from their values, relationships or even a sense of purpose, when stress becomes overwhelming and that can lead to emotional instability. Long-term stress can lead to irritability, anger, feelings of overwhelm, and it may amplify negative emotions, making it harder for us to find joy in life's simple moments. And then it leads to physical signs of spiritual exhaustion, fatigue, apathy and a constant feeling that you're running on empty. You're like a hamster on a wheel. You just keep going and going and not getting anywhere, and those are often signs that stress is draining your spirit.
Speaker 1:It's clear that unmanaged stress doesn't just affect one part of your life. It seeps into every part of it, creating a ripple effect. But the good news and yes, there is good news by understanding the long-term risks, we can take proactive steps to manage stress before it manages us. And stress doesn't just affect us physically, as we talked about. It impacts our overall quality of health. By understanding its effects is the first step to taking control. Here's the thing we can't always control the stressors in our lives, but we can control how we respond, and that's where cultivating calm comes in. And inner calm doesn't mean that it's the absence of stress. It means that you're developing a state of balance and resilience that allows you to face life's challenges without being overwhelmed or in a constant state of being overwhelmed, and sometimes that's easier said than done, and I'm living proof of that, but I try to practice what I preach. So, now that we understand how stress affects the body, mind and spirit, how can we proactively reduce the stress we have in our lives?
Speaker 1:There are many activities that we're going to briefly touch on, but I want you to know that not every one of them is something that you have to do, and to let you know that we. I did put a link on our Facebook group page Hailing Our Kindred Spirits Podcast to my YouTube channel by the same name. Just look under the season and the episode number which this episode is season one, episode five, and I have put some very helpful videos with most everything that we discussed today. And, as always, you can always connect with me through our group page, send a text on the podcast webpage or email me directly at healingourkindredspirits at gmailcom. And I want to preface this by saying that I am not a mental health therapist or practitioner, and if you are feeling overwhelmed in in crisis or need help immediately, please seek help by calling 911 or your doctor and or a care team. So what are some of the activities to manage stress? Here are some powerful, proven practices to help you cultivate inner calm and manage stress effectively. I'll share a few of them and feel free to try the ones that resonate most with you.
Speaker 1:It's not a one size fits all. Adapt it to what you have going on in your life, adapt it to your lifestyle. This is just a guide. It's not something that you have to follow right to the letter. Some may be simple and easy to do at this stage in life, and others you may need a little bit more time, and that's okay. As long as you are doing something to reduce or manage the stress in your life, then you're going in the right direction. And yes, I have done all of these the last several years and continue to incorporate many of them into my self-care routine.
Speaker 1:So the first one, which is the easiest, is to practice mindful breathing. Number one mindful breathing is one of the simplest ways to calm your nervous system. Breath is the bridge between your body and your mind, and when you control your breath you can influence your stress response. I can see the eye rolling out there. It's not that difficult to do. It's one of the simplest exercises you can do, and you can do it just about anywhere at home, at work, in the car, when you're stressed and you're stuck in traffic just about anywhere. Just don't do it when you have to pay attention to what you're doing or where you're going. And here's simply how to do it Find a quiet spot to sit comfortably, close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose for a count of four.
Speaker 1:Hold your breath for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of four and exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of six. Repeat this for two to five minutes if you can, less if you have to, focusing on the sensation of your breath. Watch how your belly rises when you take a breath. Have you ever watched a baby breathe? Their belly rises and falls with their breath.
Speaker 1:As adults, we have forgotten how to breathe. You think how can I forget how to breathe? We have forgot how to breathe effectively. I know it sounds odd, but intuitively we do forget to take full, deep breaths. And if you're like me, I tend to hold my breath without realizing it. So breathing and having these practices is very, very important. Even a few deep breaths can signal to your body that it's safe to relax.
Speaker 1:And the second one is progressive muscle relaxation. This technique involves tensing and relaxing each muscle group in your body. So you want to start with your feet and you want to tense your toes for five seconds, then release it, move up to your calves, your thighs, your stomach, your chest, your arms and, finally, your face. As you relax each group, visualize stress melting away. This exercise is great for releasing physical tension caused by stress and you can do it just about anywhere. If you're in a meeting and you're feeling stress, just tense up your toes, just tense them in and release them. Tense them and release them. You know, put your hands by your side, tense and release your fists, your fingers. You would be surprised how much that does help.
Speaker 1:What about going for a nature walk? Number three there's something incredibly grounding about being in nature. Nature has an incredible ability to ground us and restore a sense of balance. And I don't know if you've ever heard of forest bathing, which is also known as Shinrin Yoku, and it basically means forest breathing. Take a slow, intentional walk in a natural setting like a park or a forest. Be sure to put your phone on silent so you're not disturbed and walk slowly and pay attention to your surroundings. Listen to the rustle of the leaves, the feel of the ground beneath your feet, the scent of the air, the birds, the wildlife, notice how the air feels against your skin and focus on being fully present in the moment. Even a 10-minute walk can boost your mood and reduce stress levels. Spending time in nature reduces stress hormones and boosts your overall well-being.
Speaker 1:Number four journaling, or gratitude journaling. Sometimes the act of writing can help you process what's weighing on your mind. Journaling can help clear your mind clutter and shifts your focus to the positives. Each morning or evening, write down three things you're grateful for is to the positives. Each morning or evening, write down three things you're grateful for. It can be something as simple as my coffee is so warming and it tastes so good. Someone let me cut in front of them in traffic. Someone purchased my order at the drive-thru. Little things that you can be grateful for, and maybe some days you have to look a little harder, but the simple things are usually what we are most grateful for in our lives, Because gratitude interrupts negative thought patterns and boosts happiness, and it shifts your focus from stress to positive aspects of your life and over time, this rewires your brain to notice the positives in life.
Speaker 1:I have a sign in my dining room that says the more grateful I am, the more reasons I find to be grateful. I live this practice every day because I truly believe in it. I have signs every room of my home that have affirmations or quotes on them, not because they're pretty and I wanted to buy the sign because I can connect with them. I can connect with them on a spiritual level and it's a gentle reminder every day, especially if I'm feeling stressed. And there was a quote by Brother David Stendhal Rast that I resonate with, and it is. It is not joy that makes us grateful, but gratitude that makes us joyful, and I have put a video up on our group page and on our YouTube channel as well.
Speaker 1:Have you ever tried the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique? This is perfect for moments when stress feels overwhelming, and this also works for me when I feel anxiety building inside. It's my go-to method for calming myself and it's simple Name five things. You can see Four things. You can touch four things. You can touch three things. You can hear two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. This practice anchors you in the present and calms racing thoughts.
Speaker 1:That was number five. Number six schedule downtime space. Downtime space is unstructured time in your day. If you can block off 15 to 30 minutes on your calendar where you do nothing, use this time to sit quietly, sip tea, stretch, simply breathe. No distractions, no screens, no devices. Number seven practice meditation or mindfulness. Whether you're new to meditation or been doing it for years, there is no right way or wrong way to do it. The meditation police is not going to knock on your door and say, hey, you're doing it wrong. Again, do what feels right for you at this moment. There are so many videos and audio programs and meditation and mindfulness that you would find something that you're looking for that you can resonate with. If you find you cannot quiet the mind, listen to a guided meditation. That's what I do To help you. I'll add a few to our Healing, our Kindred Spirits podcast page and YouTube channel as well. And studies show that meditation reduces stress by decreasing activity and the amygdala, which is the brain's fear center. So spend 10 minutes a day sitting quietly, focusing on your breath, and use apps like Headspace or Calm, which can help guide you if you're new to meditation, and give yourself permission to pause. It's a powerful way to recharge.
Speaker 1:And I'm going to briefly talk about mindfulness because it's different than meditation Similar but different. And the practice of mindfulness is the art of staying present and fully engaged in the moment. It's a powerful antidote to stress. Mindfulness is the practice of paying full attention to the present moment, without judgment. It involves being aware of your thoughts, your feelings, your surroundings as they occur, while accepting them without trying to change or avoid them. So if you're sitting there trying to be present in the moment and your list comes in I've got to buy this at the grocery store, I've got to go. Yeah, I got to do that. Acknowledge it, don't ignore it, don't avoid it, just acknowledge it, swipe left and let it go.
Speaker 1:Mindfulness has its roots in ancient Buddhist traditions, particularly through meditation practices, and it was popular, popularized in the West by figures like Jon Kabat-Zinn, who developed mindful-based stress reduction, which is MBSR, in the 70s to help people cope with stress and pain, and many mental health therapists and practices do this today to help with their patients and simply to engage your mindfulness. Someone can practice mindful meditation. There are meditations out there. Set aside time to sit quietly and focus on your breath, your body, sensations or even a specific sound or mantra. You've heard of the word om. Find a word or a phrase that resonates with you, while letting the thoughts come and go without attachment. If something comes in and it's stressful, acknowledge, acknowledge it and let it go. In the words of Elsa, let it go.
Speaker 1:Mindful breathing, focus on your breath as you inhale and exhale, bringing your attention back to the breath if your mind starts to wonder. And then engage in daily tasks like eating or walking, with full attention, noticing the sensations and the experiences involved, like most people. If you sit to eat a meal at the table, you're eating. Most people are doing other things while they're eating. They're reading something on their tablet, they're looking at their phone, they're watching TV. Try to sit there with just you and your food and mindfully eat. That takes a lot of practice. It took me a very long time to do that. A nutritionist taught me how to do this and it was really uncomfortable at first, but it's something that is really really helpful. And then again, pay attention to different parts of your body, starting from your toes and working your way up, and noticing any tension or sensations, and mindfulness can be practiced anywhere, in a quiet room, a walk at work, even while waiting in line. It's about bringing awareness to whatever you're doing in the present moment.
Speaker 1:And I want to talk about number seven create healthy bedtime routines. Sleep allows your body to rest and repair, but chronic stress disrupts your sleep cycles, creating a feedback loop that worsens stress. I know with me, if I have a couple of nights that I don't sleep well, I can guarantee that I have set myself up for a major pain flare or a really intense bout of stress, and it could be the simplest things that could set me off. But not having that restful sleep does affect my life and it does affect my body, mind and spirit. So create a bedtime routine. Limit your screen time to one hour before bed, lower the lights and practice a relaxation technique like progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, something that you can do that you feel connected to. And let's not forget number nine social support. Talking to someone you trust can lower cortisol levels and increase oxytocin, which is known as the bonding hormone.
Speaker 1:Do you ever notice someone sharing things going on in their life on social media that have to do with something they're going through? Oftentimes, their social media connections are the only ones they have for support. Remember that, if you've ever heard, everyone has a story, everyone has a story. So next time, instead of being judgmental and think someone is oversharing, maybe they just need someone to listen, not to solve their problems, but just to listen, because when we share what we have going on, it sometimes can lessen the burden that we carry and also schedule some regular catch-ups with a friend, a family member, a therapist. Simply expressing your feelings can make a huge, huge difference.
Speaker 1:I want to give something a little off the cuff. When I'm stressed, this is something that I do, and I'm not sure if you've heard of this, but I know. When I get very stressed and overwhelmed or I'm holding on to something and I don't know how to express it, I feel like I need to scream. But I don't want to scream. I will go in my closet, close the door, warn my husband that I'm going to scream so he knows nothing is wrong with me and I would just let out this huge, huge scream and afterwards I am so tired and so depleted, but you know what it feels good. So that could be a mechanism for you to also relieve stress. And again, if someone is at home when you're doing this. Let them know you're doing it so you're not freaking them out.
Speaker 1:And number 10, move your body. Physical movement is one of the fastest ways to really stress and improve your mood, engaging activities that combine movement and mindfulness, like yoga, tai chi or even a walk. If you're like me and have mobility issues, check out videos on chair or seated yoga or seated tai chi. I find, and I have found, tai chi to be the most calming, relaxing, physical thing that I could do. I used to do tai chi and I found it so balancing for my body, mind and spirit. But as mobility challenges came upon me, I can't stand for a long period of time, or even sit for a long period of time, for that matter. But I do Tai Chi, seated Tai Chi, the motions, the movements wherever I can, even if I'm sitting on the sofa, I'm lying in bed. My body is always finding a way to move. And, as a reminder, if you sit at your desk a lot, whether it's at work or home set a reminder on your phone to get up and move every few hours for at least 10 to 15 minutes. You could stretch, you could walk, you could just move your arms back and forth, but it's important to get your body moving and even, like I said, when I have a bad pain day and I have to lie down in bed most of the day, I try to move my legs, my arms, my feet. While lying there, I do progressive relaxation and I do get up every few hours to walk around the inside of the house just to move my body, because exercise reduces cortisol and it reduces the endorphins, which is your body's natural stress relievers.
Speaker 1:Number 11, develop a self-compassion practice. When your stress is easy to be hard on yourself. I signed up for that one. I am my own worst enemy, but self-compassion can reduce stress and improve resilience. So one of the things that I like to do is called a self-compassion mantra. When you're feeling overwhelmed, just pause and repeat to yourself this is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of the human experience. May I be kind to myself in this moment. This practice fosters kindness towards yourself, which lowers stress and builds emotional resistance. What's your mantra? What could you say to help you in that moment of stress? It's different for everybody. Maybe it's just a simple symbol, or a simple syllable Om, om, anything. Or it could be an affirmation Find what works for you.
Speaker 1:And number 12, simplify your environment. I cannot stress this enough. Your surroundings have a huge impact on your stress levels. A cluttered space can lead to a cluttered mind and if you can practice five minute declutter, spend five minutes tidying a single area. It could be your desk, a corner of your living room, anything that is in your path of focus and causing you to feel stress. So if you create a calm, calming space, it invites relaxation, and decluttering reduces visual stress and gives you a sense of order.
Speaker 1:Number 13, create tech-free zones. Constant connectivity can keep your stress levels high. Creating boundaries with technology helps you recharge. You know and I've used I chose that word very carefully recharge. So practice the digital detox hour. Choose one hour each day to disconnect from all screens. That's going to be hard. I know you're resisting and you're shaking your head like no, that can't happen. Try, try 10 minutes, then gradually go to 15 minutes, the 20 minutes, until you reach an hour a day of being disconnected, because by being disconnected you're becoming reconnected and recharged. So use this time to read journal, connect with a friend or even engage in a hobby. Tech breaks allow your brain to rest and recover from the constant input of information, and I am guilty of this myself. I constantly am on my tablet looking at emails, looking up research, working on the podcast, always always connected. Research shows that excessive screen time increases anxiety, while taking regular breaks reduces stress and improves your focus.
Speaker 1:And number 14, affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements or phrases that you repeat to yourself in order to challenge and overcome negative thoughts and beliefs. The idea behind them is that by consciously focusing on these positive statements, you can shift your mindset. You can boost your confidence and ultimately change the way you think and feel about yourself or situation. When it comes to stress and overwhelm, affirmations can be incredibly helpful for several reasons. One, it shifts your focus. While you're feeling stressed, your mind tends to focus on the negative. We all go there it's what's out of your control. Affirmations help redirect your attention to what you can control and reinforces a sense of calm. And number two, it rewires negative thought patterns. Stress often comes with a negative self-talk like I can't handle this, this is too much. But affirmations can replace those thoughts with more empowering ones, such as I am capable of handling this or I have the strength to overcome challenges. This shift can change your emotional response to stress and again, it does not happen overnight.
Speaker 1:It's not a magic One size fits all. It takes repetitive use to be able to do some change in your life. Number three it can boost confidence and resilience. Repeating affirmations helps build your inner strength. It reminds you that you are resilient and can cope with difficult situations and, over time, these affirmations can make you more mentally prepared to face the challenges without feeling overwhelmed. Before you know it, the practice will come in where you're feeling stressed and your mind will go to an affirmation. It'll just be wired that way and remember, it takes 30 days to form a habit, so don't give up before the magic happens.
Speaker 1:Number four promoting a positive mindset. Regularly practicing affirmations forces an optimistic view of life. It doesn't mean ignoring stress or challenges, but instead it encourages you to believe in your ability to find solutions and handle adversity which we all have to deal with. And number five it calms the nervous system. Stress and overwhelm can activate your fight or flight response, which we talked about earlier, which creates a physical tension of anxiety and tension. As well, affirmations can calm your nervous system, lowering stress levels and promoting relaxation. So, in short, affirmations can serve as a powerful tool in reducing stress, boosting mental well-being and building resilience, which we all want. They're simple to practice and can be integrated into daily routines to improve your overall mindset and ability to manage challenging situations.
Speaker 1:So start your day with an affirmation. So begin each morning by repeating two or three affirmations that resonate with you. You can write your own. You can find them online. There's many apps that you can find that have affirmations and speak them out loud while looking in the mirror or silently while journaling. Example, for example, when you brush your teeth in the morning. I am control of my thoughts and I choose peace over worry. Say that a few times I am control of my thoughts and I choose peace over worry. But starting your day with a positive affirmation sets a calm, intentional tone, whatever lies ahead, and writing them down. Keep a journal where you can write affirmations daily.
Speaker 1:If something comes to you or you hear something that resonates with you, write it down, and I used to do this. I used to play sticky notes with affirmations on my mirror, my desk, my refrigerator. When I was working, I always had sticky notes with affirmations on them. They always resonated within me. For an example, with every breath I invite calm into my mind and body. Having that around when you're working and you're feeling a moment of stress or someone's on the phone giving you a hard time, or someone is giving you a hard time or a difficult email. Looking up and seeing that post-it note saying with every breath I invite calm into my mind and body, it can help you. I know it helped me and I'm sure it can help you.
Speaker 1:Seeing affirmations throughout the day keeps them fresh in your mind and reinforces the message. And when you peer affirmations with deep breathing, it really helps. When you take a deep breath, inhale deeply and silently, say I am safe and as you exhale, say I am supported. So peering affirmations with breath work enhances their calming effect by engaging both the body, mind and spirit. And when you create a ritual at bedtime when we talked about creating a bedtime space or having that nighttime routine reflect on your day and repeat affirmations that promote relaxation. For an example, before going to sleep, say I release what I cannot change and focus on what I can. Again, I release what I cannot change and focus on what I can. Again, I release what I cannot change and focus on what I can. And ending your day with affirmations helps you let go of stress and invites a restful sleep. And even though we talked about disconnecting from technology, if you can set reminders or alarms on your phone with an affirmation as the label, that can be helpful as well. So, for an example, say, three o'clock, a reminder pops up saying this moment is temporary and I am calm and centered. Use affirmation apps like ThinkUp or Calm, which provide daily affirmations, taylor Cheney's there's many of them out there and I have included a handout on our Facebook page that details apps that you may want to check out. And technology keeps affirmations accessible and helps you stay consistent, even on busy days, if used the right way.
Speaker 1:And when stress arises, pause and repeat an affirmation to yourself I am resilient and capable of handling whatever comes my way. I am resilient and capable of handling whatever comes my way. The more you say this, the more your body will start to believe it. And after being housebound for a few years, only from my experience, from going out only to doctor's appointments, I found just riding in the car to and from the destination brought on so much stress and anxiety. In the car, I would repeat to myself I am safe, I am safe. That became my mantra and I still use it to this day. When those fears and panic arises. And affirmations are like seeds when you nurture them daily, they grow into a mindset of common resilience. Try these tips or experiment with what works for you and watch how your relationship with stress begins to shift.
Speaker 1:I'm going to give you a few just to get started Again. If you don't resonate with them, just change them for what you feel or just let them go, and these will also be in a printed handout on our Facebook group page, healing Our Kindred Spirits Podcast. So here's just five, five affirmations I'm going to give you. Number one I am in control of my thoughts and I choose peace over worry. This reminds you that, while you can't control external circumstances, you have power over your mindset. Number two I release what I cannot change and focus on what I can. This helps you let go of stress caused by things beyond your control. Number three with every breath, I invite calm into my mind and body. This connects your breath to relaxation and encourages a sense of grounding. Number four I am resilient and capable of handling whatever comes my way. This reinforces your ability to face challenges with strength and adaptability. And number five I give myself permission to pause and rest when needed, and this encourages self-care and breaks the cycle of overwork and burnout.
Speaker 1:I want to share a quick little story of how affirmations can work in other areas of your life as well. I started reading and learning about affirmations many, many years ago when I read a book and saw a video by the late great Louise Hay from Hay House and her affirmations and her cards. Everything just sit with me so well, and I had heard or read many years ago that if you write affirmations on a wall and pencil before you paint that room, the energy of that affirmation will still energetically reverberate even though it's painted over. And I tried this in a room that I was painting many years ago that I was going to be using to see clients in for spiritual life coaching. I cannot tell you how many times people would mention and comment that they felt so calm and at ease in that room when they walked in. To me, what started out as something as simple as writing an affirmation reaffirmed that the intention that we put out there will come back to us over and over. To this day I still practice this, and when I was teaching I would write it in pencil behind a poster or behind a sign in the classroom. I would write affirmations because I knew that the energy that I was putting out there would be felt, and it did. It made a game changer. Everyone that came into my classroom would say I like coming in here, not just to see you, but it feels just so calm. To me that was the biggest compliment I could get.
Speaker 1:So building a lifestyle of inner calm takes practice, and these practices are powerful on their own, but their true potential lies in the consistency. You can't just do them once and think, okay, magic, they're all done. Here's how to make calm part of your life. One start small. Choose one or two practices to try this week and build from there. Number two be patient.
Speaker 1:Cultivating calm is a process. It's not meant to be stressful. Don't make it part of your to-do list, but make it part of your life. Progress, not perfection, is the goal. Number three celebrate wins. Acknowledge when you successfully manage stress. It reinforces positive habits. If you're having a bad week and nothing's worked out for you, that's okay. Plot twist We'll do it over again, it's okay. Don't be so hard on yourself. Stress may be a part of life, but it doesn't have to control you. By taking small, consistent steps, you can create a sense of calm that carries you through even the toughest of days. You have no idea how resilient you are. You are magic. You are resilient, you are empowered.
Speaker 1:I know we covered a lot of material today and please remember that you can read the transcript of this episode and many others on the podcast website, which I'll include at the end of this episode on the description, and I want to thank you for joining me today on this journey toward cultivating calm and managing stress.
Speaker 1:Remember, managing stress is a practice. It's about small, consistent actions that add up over time. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you found today's episode helpful, share it with a friend who could use some calm in their life, and if you try any of these activities, I'd love to hear how they worked for you. And, as always, I encourage you to interact with us and our kindred spirits on our Facebook group page, healing Our Kindred Spirits Podcast, or reach out to me at healingourkindredspirits at gmailcom, and you can also send a message or comment through the podcast site. I would love to hear from you, and our Kindred Spirits on our Facebook group page would love to interact with you. Until next time, take care of yourself, breathe deeply and remember you have the power to create calm in your life. Until next time, be kind to yourself. Thank you, thank you.
