Healing Our Kindred Spirits
Healing Our Kindred Spirits, a transformative journey of connection, healing, and personal growth. Together, we explore the depths and complexities of the human experience, while embracing the power of vulnerability as a catalyst for change. From navigating grief to celebrating the beauty of being human, we unravel the intricacies of our hearts and souls. Through authentic conversations and heartfelt reflections, we find empowerment, inspiration, and enlightenment in every exchange. Join our compassionate community, where every voice is heard, every journey is honored, and every step toward healing is celebrated. Let’s embark on this voyage of growth, healing, and profound connection. Together, we can Heal our Kindred Spirits.
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Healing Our Kindred Spirits
Embracing Letting Go: A Journey to Personal Transformation
Ever wondered what it truly means to let go and transform your life? Join Donna Gaudette on a journey of self-discovery as she guides you through the empowering process of releasing what's holding you back. Tune in to explore how the traditional New Year's resolutions can be revolutionized by the art of letting go. Through a "life audit," Donna helps you identify limiting beliefs, toxic relationships, and physical clutter that impede personal growth. Learn how replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations can open up a new world of possibilities, all while letting go is portrayed as an act of profound self-love and empowerment.
Discover practical steps to attain mental and emotional freedom, detaching from relationships with grace, and releasing guilt for a healthier, more fulfilling life. Dive into thoughtful discussions about the importance of aligning life with personal values and the joy that comes from creating space for beautiful growth. Donna invites listeners to share their stories, offering a supportive community and resources like a worksheet to aid in this transformative journey. Create the life you truly deserve by embracing the limitless opportunities that come with letting go, and remember to subscribe for more inspiring insights and guidance.
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Have you made New Year's resolutions that you have given up on? How about changing your mindset of? Instead of adding things to your list, you subtract things from your life that no longer work. Let's explore the possibilities as we continue healing our kindred spirits. Welcome to Healing Our Kindred Spirits. I'm Donna Gaudet and I'm so glad you're here Today. We're exploring a topic that resonates deeply with so many of us letting go and releasing what no longer works for you in your life.
Speaker 1:As New Year begins, we're often tempted to set lofty resolutions and for many of us, myself included, it's not always easy or attainable. Studies show that most of us will abandon our resolutions by the third week of January. But what if the most transformative thing that you could do this year isn't about what you add, but what you let go? Letting go of old habits, unhealthy relationships, guilt or even outdated beliefs can weigh us down. I have learned through experience that letting go of what no longer serves our highest good at any point in our life can actually be one of the most loving things that we can do for ourselves and others. Today, we'll explore what and how to do a life audit and how to consciously detach with love and learn how this allows us to create space for the life we truly want, while honoring the role of these things that once played in our lives. What are some examples of what we can let go of Limiting self-beliefs?
Speaker 1:An example I'm not good enough. Limiting beliefs are assumptions or convictions that people hold about themselves or the world which constrains their growth or success. We have all had them, myself included. Here are a few examples of more common ones. How many resonate with you? I'm not good enough. I don't deserve success. I'll never be as good as others. I'm too young, too old to start something new. I'm not smart enough to learn this. I'm not lovable. I'm better off alone. It's too late for me to change. I'll never be able to stick to it. I'm not brave enough to step outside my comfort zone. Things never work out for me or bad things always happen to me. Recognizing these beliefs is the first step towards transforming them into empowering thoughts. How about if you change the mindset and, at the same time, you're changing those limited beliefs? How about choosing to replace those limiting beliefs with positive affirmations? Here are a couple that can shift your mindset.
Speaker 1:I release what no longer serves me, making space for new opportunities and growth. The second one letting go allows me to welcome peace, clarity and positive transformation into my life. Number three I deserve to surround myself with people, habits and goals that align with my highest good. Number four every release creates room for something better to enter my life. Every release creates room for something better to enter my life. Number five I trust that letting go is an act of self-love and personal empowerment. And number six as I let go of the past, I embrace the limitless possibilities of my future.
Speaker 1:And many things can help when we release toxic relationships or one-sided friendships. We have all been there at one time or another in our lives. Habits or routines that drain our energy Shake things up a little bit. You don't have to do the same thing every time. If your mom or dad or loved one did something the same way for so long, it does not mean you have to repeat those patterns, especially when it comes to things that don't resonate with you any longer.
Speaker 1:And what about physical clutter, or what I call aspirational clutter? These things are kept for a version of yourself that no longer exists, or maybe that you're striving for, and you just keep running in circles. Running in circles. How many of you hang on to things because quote you may use it someday. Unquote, I can tell you how. I can't tell you how many times I bought yoga mats I purchased over the years with the aspiration and hope that I would learn yoga. No matter how many I bought, I never learned yoga. Over time, things take up space and you can feel suffocated or even obligated to keep those things because you made a conscious effort and commitment to the idea of using them someday. But what if someday is now to make that choice? Am I going to use this? Do I need to let it go? Is now to make that choice? Am I going to use this? Do I need to let it go? I want to spend a few minutes talking about something most of us hold onto and carry in our lives.
Speaker 1:I believe everyone in their life at some point is going to experience guilt or feelings of guilt. Carrying guilt, whether it's rooted in past actions or perceived shortcomings. Rooted in past actions or perceived shortcomings can significantly impact both of our physical and emotional well-being. When we hold on to guilt, it can cause physical and emotional stress in our bodies and it can cause our immune system to weaken. It can cause stress and even increase cortisol levels and it also plays a huge part in our sleep patterns and disturbances. So if you're having a difficult time sleeping or you've got a lot going on not feeling well, what is it that you need to let go of? Sometimes it's something emotional, sometimes it's something physical. Take an inventory of how you feel and see what doesn't resonate with you any longer.
Speaker 1:Some of the emotional effects of holding onto guilt is shame and low self-esteem and self-worth. There's the anxiety, there's depression, relationship issues that can even lead to us becoming what I call perfectionists, which can really be detrimental to our health all the way around, when we're trying to constantly right a wrong. If you're constantly trying to be perfect because you don't want to make a mistake, you don't want to relive that mistake, you don't want to make a mistake again, we can become self-proclaimed perfectionists, and perfectionism kills creativity. Remember that perfectionism kills creativity. So how can we effectively release or get past those feelings of guilt? You want to identify and acknowledge the sauce, reflect on what caused the guilt and separate the objective responsibility from perceived over-responsibility. I want you to ask yourself was this a genuine mistake or am I taking on more blame than necessary? And I want you to practice self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a close friend who feels guilt. Replace that harsh inner dialogue with affirming statements like I made a mistake, but I am still worthy of kindness. Repeat that again I made a mistake, but I am still worthy of kindness.
Speaker 1:Remember that making mistakes is part of being human and you want to apologize or make amends if you have hurt someone. If the guilt stems from harm done to another, a sincere apology or effort to make amends can bring closure. But understand that even if amends aren't possible, self-forgiveness is still within your control and you would be amazed at how good it feels when you practice self-forgiveness. Because when you forgive yourself, you recognize that holding on to guilt doesn't change the past. It doesn't. It just sits there and it just keeps rolling and rolling and rolling.
Speaker 1:And using journaling or therapy to work through those feelings of regret can be really helpful. What about writing a letter to yourself acknowledging the mistake and offering forgiveness? And how about shift your focus to how you can grow from that feeling of guilt? Feel guilt as a teacher. Ask yourself what can I learn from this experience? Ground yourself in the present and practice mindfulness to release ruminative thoughts tied to guilt Techniques like meditation and breathing exercises can help center you in the present moment and never be afraid to seek support. Share your feelings with a trusted friend, counselor or support group. Sometimes guilt feels less burdensome when verbalized or shared. You can engage in acts of self-service. Channel that guilt into positive action. Helping others can bring a sense of purpose and remind you of your ability to contribute positively.
Speaker 1:And a hard one that most of us have a hard time with. Most of us have a hard time with this is accepting imperfection. Acknowledge that perfection is unattainable. Mistakes are part of the human experience, and learning to coexist with imperfections can free you from unnecessary guilt. And if you need to and I have said this many, many times in my podcast, I'm a big advocate of therapy. It has helped me many times over the years Seek out a qualified mental health therapist, mental health counselor, that can help you if you are just ruminating in the same old patterns, especially if those patterns are destructive. If you want to release them and you're ready to release them, then I highly recommend seeking out a therapist to help you through that. Seeking out a therapist to help you through that. And if guilt feels overwhelming or chronic, consider working with a therapist that does modalities like CBT, which is cognitive behavioral therapy. It can help reframe the guilt and foster healthy emotional processing.
Speaker 1:And sometimes guilt may linger, especially when tied to significant events. But instead of trying to completely eliminate it, focus on coexisting with acceptance. Understand that guilt can coexist with joy and fulfillment. It doesn't define your entire identity and use it as a guide. Let guilt serve as a moral compass, but don't let it dictate your life, and always remember gratitude for growth. Appreciate how guilt has shaped your ability to empathize or to make better choices. When we learn something from something we did wrong, we do better. When we know better, we do better. So by addressing guilt with compassion and actionable steps, you can transform its weight into an opportunity for healing and growth. Remember what we resist persists. If we never allow ourselves to feel the emotions, we can't heal from them and we can't move forward in our life to create and transform our life into what we want it to be Again, taking out something in your life to make it better.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about why we hold on to things that no longer serve our highest and greatest good. Why do we hold on? We hold on to things or emotions that no longer are a curse or aligned with us in the stage of our life, because we're comfort. We find comfort in the familiar, whether it's a habit, a relationship or even physical possessions. Familiarity gives us a sense of safety. It's not that we're lazy or unmotivated, it's that the brain is wired to seek predictability. Even when the familiar becomes unhealthy or limiting, it feels easier to hold on than let go. From personal experience, I have done this many times in my life. It's like how many times do I have to hear it, see it, feel it in order to be able to do something about it or to let it go? And holding on to what's familiar feels safe, even when it's not good for us. But there's beauty in release. That is where transformation begins.
Speaker 1:Again, we talked about guilt and then this fear. We often feel guilty about letting go, especially if it involves relationships or friendships or sentimental items. There's this voice in our head that says but you've invested so much time, oh, what if you need this again someday? But letting go isn't about failure. It's about growth and recognizing when something has served its purpose.
Speaker 1:Many times in our life we are tasked with removing physical things from our life, such as decluttering or even clearing out a loved one's belongings after they passed, or even just feeling like we need to declutter our own life. How much better do you feel when you can clean a closet, clean out a junk drawer or just get rid of things you no longer need? And many people have put the Marie Kondo method of letting go of things into perspective. For an example, marie Kondo is an organizing consultant, she's an author, a TV personality, and she's best known for her philosophy of tidying up and using her KonMari K-O-N-M-A-R-I method. Her philosophy revolves around the idea that tidying is not just about decluttering physical spaces but about transforming your mindset and lifestyle. At its core, it focuses on keeping only the items that quote spark joy, unquote, and letting go of those that no longer serve a meaningful purpose in your life.
Speaker 1:And we have to ask ourselves what are you willing to let go of in your life that no longer sparks joy? Is it a relationship, a friendship, a job place where you live? Is it situations in your life that are no longer for your highest and greatest good? Only you can answer those answers honestly when you sit with how it makes you feel. In many times in my life I have had to make the tough decision of letting go of something that I either fought so hard to attain or achieve or invested so much of myself into that. You think it's easy to keep going instead of letting it go. I can't tell you how many times I have done this in my life. I have had friendships that I've had to let go because they were no longer healthy, and I think many of us have also had jobs where we just kept plugging along because we need that paycheck, even if that job becomes detrimental to our physical and mental health, which is what happened to me. Letting go and releasing what no longer serves can be challenging, but it can be life-changing in the most positive way.
Speaker 1:I have made it a practice each New Year's Day or around New Year's to do what I call a life audit. Do you know what a life audit is? It sounds more ominous than it is and it sounds odd. When we think of audit we think of something really bad. But a life audit is just a self-reflective process where you evaluate aspects of your life to assess where you are currently in that particular stage or phase of your life. It gives us an opportunity to look for areas that you would like to improve. It gives a sort of check-in to see if what you're doing aligns with your goals, values and priorities.
Speaker 1:What you're doing aligns with your goals, values and priorities and we know that at any moment in time, something shifts in our life and we need to shift everything else. If we shift something in our life and we keep the old habits or the old patterns, it doesn't align with our values or priorities. And it helps give you clarity and know what's working and what's not, and then you can choose to make the changes based on what you discover. Of course, just doing the practice of looking at the changes and not doing anything about it. What you need to change isn't going to work unless you put intention and action behind it. It's not a wish list to the universe and say, okay, I want this to happen, boom, let it happen. It doesn't work that way. There's no magic fairy dust that's going to come down and make it happen.
Speaker 1:You have to put action behind those intentions in order for things to change. For example, if you're not happy with your job, what can you do about it? Most of us would say I can't leave until I find something suitable and equitable, which, for most of us, that would be our default response. But what are you doing to actively make the change happen? We can complain six days to Sunday, but unless we're willing to do something to change it, it's not going to change. Are you seeking out opportunities? Are you polishing up your resume? Maybe you want a totally different job or career? What steps can you take to achieve that goal? Put it in little, bite size steps. It doesn't have to be a major life plan, but little steps that are actionable, that you can do a little at a time. You don't like where you're living. What steps can you take to make that change? Is it as simple as moving to another address? Or do you feel you need to do a 360 and change everything about where and how you live? Again, you need to put action behind what you want to achieve. It's not always easy, but most things that are important to you usually take a lot of effort over time.
Speaker 1:And what are some of the benefits of letting go? If you come to mind mental and emotional freedom, you have room for new opportunities. When we let go of what no longer aligns with us or who we are, we create space for what does Let me repeat that again when we let go of what no longer aligns with who we are, we create space for what does. And then we have mental and emotional freedom. Letting go reduces the weight we carry, both mentally and emotionally. It can clear space for peace, creativity and give us an opportunity for connection. Imagine decluttering your closet. When you remove what no longer fits, you create room for what truly belongs.
Speaker 1:And what about holding on to habits? Holding on to habits or unresolved relationships drains your energy. We've all been there, myself included. Releasing them allows you to direct or redirect that energy towards something meaningful, whether it's a passion or a healthy relationship or simply just for your well-being. And we always need to know how do we make that happen. So some steps to release of what no longer serves you is awareness Identify what feels heavy or out of.
Speaker 1:What no longer serves you is awareness. Identify what feels heavy or out of alignment. And that's number one. Number two acceptance Acknowledge the role it played and why it's time to let it go. Number three action Create rituals for release journaling, donating or simply saying goodbye in your mind. And number four reflection.
Speaker 1:How do you feel after releasing? What do you want to welcome into this new space? But what if something that you need to release in this new era, this new year, this new you? What if you need to let go of a relationship or friendship? How does that apply? How do you do that? How can you do that? How can you do that or do you do it?
Speaker 1:It can be challenging to say goodbye to something familiar and what we perceive as safe, but it's oftentimes necessary for self-preservation or peace. From my own experience, it hurts more to force a friendship or relationship that no longer works than to go through the motions to detach with love or detach with peace. So how do we let go with love and with peace, and why detaching with love matters? When we let go with resentment or bitterness, it can feel like tearing apart a piece of ourselves, but detaching with love allows us to release with grace and gratitude. It's about acknowledging the value something brought into your life, even if its season is over, for example, thanking a habit for the comfort it once provided or a person for the lessons they taught us. It could be a person, an emotion, a habit, a coping mechanism that we may have needed but we no longer need. It can be anything. You can apply the rule of detaching with love and peace to anything in your life.
Speaker 1:And here are some things to recognize when it's time to let go. Pay attention to the patterns. Does this habit or relationship bring you joy or does it drain you? Is it aligned with who you are becoming or does it drain you? Is it aligned with who you are becoming? If the answer is no, it may be time to release it, and every relationship or habit or belief serves a purpose. And before letting go, take the time to acknowledge how it supported you in the past. Remember sometimes people or things come into our life for a reason or a season. For example, a habit like overworking might have been your way of coping during a stressful period, but honor that and recognize that it's no longer needed.
Speaker 1:I have known people who were grieving and in order to avoid that grief, they shopped. They would buy things they didn't need because it kept their mind occupied, away from the grief they were feeling. It was an emotional high, a boost, and it was an unhealthy coping mechanism. But, although fleeting, it filled the void for them of missing their loved ones and dealing with the sadness of their loss, and through some spiritual life coaching, we had many conversations about how they use that behavioral practice as a crutch to avoid facing their grief. I then encourage them to seek out a qualified mental health therapist.
Speaker 1:And what about gratitude? It should go without saying, but I'm going to repeat it Everything we do in our life should have a component of gratitude. So, even while releasing, we should also practice gratitude. It's important to mention that when we do this life audit, it's vital to feel and show gratitude. Maybe you were using a certain behavior as a crutch to get you through a difficult time in your life, but have gratitude for what it showed you. Even if it was on a negative playing field, it supported you at a time when you needed in your life. And when we know better, we do life. And when we know better, we do better. So when you know better, you will do better and acknowledge how it helped you and let it go by letting it know you're grateful for the experience.
Speaker 1:And setting boundaries setting boundaries with compassion is sometimes challenging, especially if you're letting go of a relationship. Detaching with love doesn't mean cutting someone off abruptly. It means setting boundaries that protect your energy while wishing them well. For example, instead of ghosting, have an honest, kind conversation about why you need space or why you both need to move on. And there are, and with myself personally, I find that there are some rituals for closure. You can write down what you're releasing on paper and safely burn it to symbolize transformation. I started doing this many years ago when I was holding on to a toxic work situation that kept me stuck in frustration, anger and grief, and it wasn't until I physically wrote a letter to that person that I was able to move on from those feelings. It ended up being seven pages long and I didn't need to send it to them, but just the symbolization of writing that letter and pouring out what I felt was so incredibly therapeutic. And you can even create a release jar, right what you're letting go of and place it in a jar as a visual reminder of your freedom.
Speaker 1:There are many different ways that you can do something symbolic to release what you no longer need. And after letting go, you want to focus on what you're gaining. Maybe it's peace of mind, more time for self-care, space for healthier connections. Let the emptiness that you feel be a fertile ground for new growth. Letting go isn't always easy, but it's one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. It's not about rejection of failure. It's about honoring your growth.
Speaker 1:I want to thank you for joining me today on this journey and, if this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your stories about what you're letting go of and how it's changing your life. Send me a message to the website and be sure to subscribe or follow our podcast so you'll be notified about new episodes. Remember, when you let go with love, you're creating space for something beautiful to grow. As an extra bonus to help you on your journey, I have created a worksheet that has many prompts to help you with releasing what no longer works in your life. It can be found on our Facebook group page, which is Healing Our Kindred Spirits Podcast, and the link is in the show notes as well. If you would prefer me to email it to you, please send me an email at healingourkindred spirits at gmailcom. Until next time, take care of yourselves and keep making space for the life that you love. Thank you.
